coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
