can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
