i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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