Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
