so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
