Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
