just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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