had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
