Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
