I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
