why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
