So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
