Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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