Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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