tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
