We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
