are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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