just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
