Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
