I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The adults are the big ones right?
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