you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
high people should be assigned attendants
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
