My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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