dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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