Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
People in love make me want to vomit
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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