I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
