It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
