you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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