He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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