You're my little dorito
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
