just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
