We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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