my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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