Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
