Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My balls are so social today.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
