My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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