Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
