I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
