Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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