I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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