i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
