You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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