i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have feelings that need drinking.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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