you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
