I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
