We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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