He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
