I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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