i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
