I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
