Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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