i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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